For all the hard times…

There are moments like this morning where I am overwhelmed by the beauty of creation.  I am so excited to create a new sound, a story to bring to life through music. It’s a different experience, writing for this album.

I think of it as evolution.

Certain songs I am writing feel like a rock opera at times, or a throwback to some power ballads from Heart.  Sometimes a song feels like old Whitney Houston or motown. Other songs have a country Beatles vibe. I have no idea what’s coming together, but I am ready for music to swell and flow.  It really is like awakening the sea.

Every day almost, I have a new idea, a new melody, something is inspired and changed.  I don’t force myself, I just let it happen. Incidentally, it’s not always pleasant to discover this music, as it has a range of emotion, but the end result is just short of orgasmic 🙂

I have had times in my music where I didn’t feel I could write.  I stopped judging myself for that long ago (thankfully). It’s best if you just let the inspiration come, and hopefully find it in your life.   

Lately though, it’s been feeling like it’s coming down from somewhere more divine.  It’s a bit unnerving. It’s as if my life’s shape is becoming more defined and my work and care and love will come to bear fruit.  I have even had my cards read a few times (not something I have ever subscribed to). I don’t know what’s happening, but there’s a shift.  

I went to church when I was in San Francisco (not that I am religious, I haven’t gone most of my life).  More on that later, but I am questioning the meaning of my contribution to the world more.  I am wondering why people do things, why I choose certain things, and what is the point of any of it.  I love life, and am grateful more for it every day. That much I know. The other stuff in between is challenging, but in the end, worth it.

I have been told to be positive, and trust the universe.  I have no idea if that’s true. It’s scary to trust in the unknown.  

But I do know that I can’t wait to record today.  I know I can’t wait to try to be better. It’s good to be alive <3